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Happy Star Wars Day!
May. 4th, 2013 10:10 amMay the Fourth be with you!
And now a message from the Empire: (hat tip: Towleroad)
And now a message from the Empire: (hat tip: Towleroad)
One of Dad's jokes came up the other day.
Nov. 29th, 2009 11:05 pm![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
gmjambear and I were watching Jeopardy! the other day and one of the clues involved this poem by Whittier. It reminded me of a story my Dad used to tell me.A long time ago, there was a shop that specialized in exotic woods, run by a Chinese fellow named Chan. One day, Mr. Chan noticed a curious figure entering his shop: a small boy in a bear suit, but without the feet on it so he had ordinary sneakers on instead. He found a piece of expensive teakwood on display, and without a word, snatched it up and ran off with it.
Mr. Chan, of course, called the police to report the theft. When asked to describe the suspect, he simply said,
( Click for the punchline... ) ;-)
agedwards.com: A G Edwards or Aged Wards? Updated 11/28/09: A.G. Edwards has been acquired by Wells Fargo. The domain is still active but redirects there.
powergenitalia.com: Powergen Italia (the Italian subsidiary of European energy giant Powergen) or Power Genitalia? (This domain has been "parked" and is no longer in use by the original owner.)
therapistlocator.net: Therapist Locator or The Rapist Locator?
whorepresents.com: Who Represents or Whore Presents?
Updated 1/2/2010: From the comments:
expertsexchange.com: Experts Exchange (a site for consultation with experts in personal computing and info technology) or Expert Sex Change? (Since renamed "experts-exchange.com"; the original domain is "parked".)
fourpointsexpress.com: Four Points Express (a delivery company) or Four Point Sex Press (a combination bondage device and genital mutilator)?
penisland.com: Pen Island (a seller of fine pens) or Penis Land? (This site has also been "parked". The original retailer appears to have changed their domain to "pen-island.com" but that site too appears to be "parked", leading to the conclusion that Pen Island is out of business.)
And personally observed over the holidays:
catstix.com: 'Cats Tix (tickets to University of Cincinnati Bearcats athletic events) or Cat Stix (use your imagination)?
powergenitalia.com: Powergen Italia (the Italian subsidiary of European energy giant Powergen) or Power Genitalia? (This domain has been "parked" and is no longer in use by the original owner.)
therapistlocator.net: Therapist Locator or The Rapist Locator?
whorepresents.com: Who Represents or Whore Presents?
Updated 1/2/2010: From the comments:
expertsexchange.com: Experts Exchange (a site for consultation with experts in personal computing and info technology) or Expert Sex Change? (Since renamed "experts-exchange.com"; the original domain is "parked".)
fourpointsexpress.com: Four Points Express (a delivery company) or Four Point Sex Press (a combination bondage device and genital mutilator)?
penisland.com: Pen Island (a seller of fine pens) or Penis Land? (This site has also been "parked". The original retailer appears to have changed their domain to "pen-island.com" but that site too appears to be "parked", leading to the conclusion that Pen Island is out of business.)
And personally observed over the holidays:
catstix.com: 'Cats Tix (tickets to University of Cincinnati Bearcats athletic events) or Cat Stix (use your imagination)?
E: What's this I hear about Grange music? People running around in flannel shirts and what not...
A: That's grunge music, not Grange.
E: Oh. That's different. Never mind.
A: That's grunge music, not Grange.
E: Oh. That's different. Never mind.
Before and After
Jun. 27th, 2009 12:37 pmA: Film and/or song about the Prime Minister of Canada and a bunch of small-town parents scandalized by the presence of a single mother in their midst.
( Q: ... )
( Q: ... )
Me: We need a mallet to put together this shelf unit we just bought.
Gary: You're going to bang on that thing with the long hair on the back of your head? That's gonna hurt.
Me: No, dear, that's a mullet.
Gary: Oh. That's different.
Both: Never mind.
Gary: You're going to bang on that thing with the long hair on the back of your head? That's gonna hurt.
Me: No, dear, that's a mullet.
Gary: Oh. That's different.
Both: Never mind.
Inspired by a friend's post...
Jan. 29th, 2009 10:42 pmTo do is to be. -- Nietzsche
To be is to do. -- Sartre
Do be do be do. -- Sinatra
To be is to do. -- Sartre
Do be do be do. -- Sinatra
Stop me if you've heard this one...
Dec. 27th, 2008 10:00 amBack in the days of Soviet Russia, a loyal Communist with the unlikely name of Rudolph had retired to a fine dacha in the mountains with his stout Russian wife of many years.
One winter morning (being a loyal Communist he'd long since stopped calling it Christmas) he got up and looked out the bedroom window at the scenery, and called to his wife, "Ah, look at the rain coming down!"
His wife struggled to her feet and put on a robe, took one look and harrumphed, "Is snow."
He responded, "Nyet, is rain."
She came back, even louder, "Nyet, is snow!"
Exasperated, he spun his wife around by the shoulders ( and said ... )
;-)
One winter morning (being a loyal Communist he'd long since stopped calling it Christmas) he got up and looked out the bedroom window at the scenery, and called to his wife, "Ah, look at the rain coming down!"
His wife struggled to her feet and put on a robe, took one look and harrumphed, "Is snow."
He responded, "Nyet, is rain."
She came back, even louder, "Nyet, is snow!"
Exasperated, he spun his wife around by the shoulders ( and said ... )
;-)
It's all about the Benjamins!
Dec. 20th, 2008 10:15 pmKind of funny, an announcer on Hockey Night in Canada used the phrase "it's all about the Benjamins" in reference to a player from the Toronto Maple Leafs signing to play for the Vancouver Canucks instead. Now Benjamin Franklin does not appear on Canadian money; the $100 CDN note bears the likeness of Sir Robert Borden, whoever he may be. Go figure.
Anyway, the whole thing inspired me to create the attached LJ icon. Yes, I know Richard Benjamin's wife, Paula Prentiss, does not use her husband's surname, but I think a bit of poetic license is in order here. ;-)
Anyway, the whole thing inspired me to create the attached LJ icon. Yes, I know Richard Benjamin's wife, Paula Prentiss, does not use her husband's surname, but I think a bit of poetic license is in order here. ;-)
Too good to pass up...
Aug. 30th, 2008 10:26 amBill Cotterell of the Tallahassee Democrat shared a couple of puns in a recent column that I thought were too good to pass up:
Reminds me of the sort of musical puns featured on The Gong Show. One I remember had something to do with a lion and a cowboy's best boots, with the punchline "Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?" (sung to the obvious tune, of course).
- A Florida state agency refused to serve alcohol at a team-building event featuring a fortune-teller, "fearing it might weigh down upon the swami's liver."
- Upon raiding a strip joint, a local sheriff "sent to know for whom the belles toil."
Reminds me of the sort of musical puns featured on The Gong Show. One I remember had something to do with a lion and a cowboy's best boots, with the punchline "Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?" (sung to the obvious tune, of course).
Musical musings
Feb. 24th, 2007 10:45 pmThere's a lot of sheet music out there (especially for marching or military bands) that begins with the instruction "Tempo di marcia" (march tempo).
I suspect the sheet music for the theme from "The Brady Bunch" (in at least one arrangement) starts with "Tempo di Marsha, Marsha, Marsha". ;-)
I suspect the sheet music for the theme from "The Brady Bunch" (in at least one arrangement) starts with "Tempo di Marsha, Marsha, Marsha". ;-)
