Out & Equal Summit Day 2 - Tuesday
Oct. 2nd, 2018 11:59 pmGot up at 5:15 to take the 6:45 Sounder train downtown. Parked in the south lot by the Swift station. Sat at the top of the stairs on the water side. Caught the 41 bus to 9th and Pine. Sat with Chavonne at orientation.
First session: The Southern States Strategy: When LGBTQ Equality Goes South. Met a delightful lady named Lilli from Kentucky. She started at Toyota in Erlanger and moved with manufacturing. Also Andrea from Eli Lilly, Amber from Darden restaurants, Jim from Marsh McLennan and Eddie from Greensboro, NC. Madelyn Gelpi presented. Why is O&E here? - Lower engagement, hostile public policy environment, gathering information. Southern States Initiative: high vulnerability to discrimination and anti-LGBTQ sentiment, low engagement and workplace protection. High poverty and unemployment, 35% of the LGBTQ community lives here. Long way to go with census data. Disparity in healthcare provider knowledge and attitudes e.g. PREP. Self ID. No state has full employment protection. RFRA, religious discomfort. MS HB 1523 (see slide). Listening session with ACLU in Jackson: Locals report one of "each" or none (bar, community center, etc.) Important for companies to adopt policies before states do so. SMB outreach part of the initiative. Dealing with opposition part of training. American Community Survey from Census Bureau - 7481 same sex couples. Lots of elementary and middle school teachers. Managers, sales clerks, truckers, lawyers/judges round out top 10. No accurate gauge of sexual orientation/gender identity. Omnibus survey to pick up better data. 51% LGBTQ individuals considered moving; 85% of non-LGBTQ had not. Reasons not to move: family, ability to make change. Middle ground: live in big city, work in rural facility (chemicals, aerospace). Goal is to increase engagement with and understanding of southern companies and organizations. Companies can enact change where public policy has failed. See slides on what we can do. Engage non-LGBTQ people to make aware there is a problem.
At the brunch session I sat with Deneen, Martin, Chavonne, one of the ladies from the panel discussion, and two other ladies.
* Diversity is counting heads; inclusion is making heads count.
* End goal of D&I is belonging.
* Adam Rippon: I had to give myself permission to tell myself "Fuck yourself".
* John Quincy Adams' church today is led by an out gay man.
LGBTQ Senior Executives visibility influence company culture
If I don't see me among your leaders and employees, why would I buy what you're selling?
Roger - From South Africa, moved to Germany, then LA. Hates the term gay-friendly: move from tolerant to appreciative. Survivor of multiple mergers. Mgr at News Corp thrilled to have a gay direct report, first q: top or bottom? Trevor, #LOVELOUD, Broadway Cares. We've all had to fight for our survival, so we all can empathize. Use your experience to help others. You're the bottle opener. If we can convince younger folks to be their authentic selves, they'll be out already when they reach high places and we won't be having this conversation.
Jennifer - Came to N.Y. to be an opera singer, damaged her voice and became a consultant. Oriented business of change management around inclusion. It's not the pain Olympics. Use your privilege to help others. Losing your voice has a profound effect on you. Empathy + business case. Not a lot of women authors in business leadership lit, let alone LGBTQ. #metoo moments - whose stories aren't being told? Be proactive and ask for mentoring. Optics problem - Have to change the culture. Questioning inherent racism & toxic masculinity - companies are terrified to confront these. Might be a little better equipped to start those conversations. A lot of executives are still closeted - esp as they approach retirement. Tim Cook on coming out: it's not all about me. Not just LGBTQ either - other identity factors such as race and gender. Broaden our lens. Give HR audiences tools to engage upper management. D&I teams are tiny for the most part. F2M realizing male privilege after transitioning, which just proves how entrenched it is. Meet the client where they're at.
Michael - From small-town dairy farm in central CA. Mom: I named you after Mike Brady, and he's also gay. At Wells Fargo, the more he spoke, the more team members asked for help coming out. "You work for the gay bank". When his folks left Portugal, gayfolk disappeared, and that colored their reaction. Inappropriate remark from coworker recognized by superior: You need to be your best self @ work or you won't be successful. Helping others come out bc feels he did so too late. Don't ever tell me not to do something. When you create a supportive environment you make the company a better place to work.
Peter - From Bulgaria, came out at 21, Iraqi-Bulgarian, Communists anti-gay, came out bc friends dying of AIDS. WF expects leadership by example. When Ellen came out, so did he (at work). Survivalist living, searching for safe space. Must provide safe space for folks to come out. In HR, focus is to bring human back to resources. We're not here for metrics alone.
Day job vs. Gay job
Peter - Make D&I part of the day-to-day business
Michael - How are you leading? "I went to the event" is wrong answer.
Incentives to move to the next level
Roger - GEM score
Bring the CEO on board
Roger - Randall Stephenson does not need to be prodded. Tolerance is for cowards speech.
Jennifer - Silence speaks volumes. Corporate responsibility is big with millennials. Legal departments make them timid. If you're not uncomfortable you're probably not leading. Loves Randall's TIFC speech - isn't supposed to be revolutionary but it is.
Roger - Senior management has the opportunity and the duty to educate the workforce
Intersectional Allyship within the LGBTQ community
Allyn Shaw - Cybersecurity @ BoA
Kirsten McPherson - Boeing project manager. Has a service dog. Listening allows allyship to begin. Asking for help vs. being offered help. When you ask what you can do to help, be prepared for the answer; when you ask for help, be clear what you want. Senior managers have to mentor and be mentored.
Deneen - Las Vegas, started a scholarship for homeless LGBTQ youth, back in Detroit working with Trevor Project. Told this to Lyft driver and he came out as a once homeless gay man. Listen and pay attention. What can I do to help you? Be aware and assume positive intent.
Jennifer Henderson - Capital One - transwoman. It is extremely powerful to be out at work. Once people get to know you, it makes them see you as a person, not a stereotype. 3 roles: be a hero only as needed, be with the person, step back and let them know they have strength. We wrongly assume people come at us with evil intent. Bring down defenses and gently educate.
Allyn - Separate ERGs vs. one Inclusion Council?
Deneen - We need both. Inclusion Council ensures different orgs know what each other are doing.
Jennifer - When you melt us all together we turn into purple sludge. Pick a BRG whether or not you fit the demographic. BRGs are better together.
Kirsten - BRGs vs. affinity/social groups vs. diversity councils. The latter are to provide structured programming to folks not in a BRG.
Allyn - Self ID and how do we measure belonging?
Deneen - We have a Self ID program for disability, veteran status, and LGBTQ. Others include different categories like caregivers, military spouses. Degrees of coming out. When you see people doing the right thing without prodding, you know the culture has shifted.
Jennifer - Not a fan of Self ID. Until a company has the proper culture, doubts about anonymity will exist. Folks, especially youth, don't like to be put in buckets. Belonging looks at how you honor every person. "We're losing women in STEM bc they're going off to raise families" is bullshit.
Kirsten - do you want to know if there is a problem in this sue-happy environment? Lists are made with the best of intentions and get abused horribly (McCarthy, Nazis), hence the aversion to Self ID. How many labels do you want? Airplane building is very cyclical; this trashes loyalty. Define what the best is, and you can attract and retain them.
Jennifer - Attract straight allies by being a fun group to be with.
Kirsten - Why do you want allies? Nothing happens till you ask. What's in it for me?
From the room - Be an ally for someone else. Join a different ERG.
Kirsten - acting CEO response to hate mail: We don't behave like that in this company.
Jennifer - #tdor People who are being murdered bc transgender need to be acknowledged as human beings. Transgender people are the most likely to be unemployed.
Deneen - There are supposed to be protections on social media. Choice is to engage, ignore, or report.
Allyn - Intranet inappropriateness is often drowned out by supportive comments.
Religious freedom vs. diversity
Jennifer - There's still a D&I issue whether we talk about it or not. D&I is a differentiator and helps the company. Diverse companies do better. Never have a Bible fight with a preacher's daughter. 😊
Kirsten - Code of Conduct does not allow demeaning another employee. As a Federal contractor there is an obligation to ensure people are protected by EEO.
Jennifer - I would be all for a Christian affinity group if they actually acted like Christians. 😊
Deneen - National ERG Conference. 2 years ago, BLM was a really big thing, but that started other conversations. Not hogging the spotlight.
Starting an ERG
Deneen - Ask Mike and Chavonne. 😊
Jennifer - Have an event with PFLAG or GLSEN. People love kids.
Pushing D&I to remote sites
Deneen - Once you know better, you do better
Jennifer - All politics is local.
Caught up with Gary and came home to grab dinner locally at Buffalo Wild Wings in Everett Mall.
First session: The Southern States Strategy: When LGBTQ Equality Goes South. Met a delightful lady named Lilli from Kentucky. She started at Toyota in Erlanger and moved with manufacturing. Also Andrea from Eli Lilly, Amber from Darden restaurants, Jim from Marsh McLennan and Eddie from Greensboro, NC. Madelyn Gelpi presented. Why is O&E here? - Lower engagement, hostile public policy environment, gathering information. Southern States Initiative: high vulnerability to discrimination and anti-LGBTQ sentiment, low engagement and workplace protection. High poverty and unemployment, 35% of the LGBTQ community lives here. Long way to go with census data. Disparity in healthcare provider knowledge and attitudes e.g. PREP. Self ID. No state has full employment protection. RFRA, religious discomfort. MS HB 1523 (see slide). Listening session with ACLU in Jackson: Locals report one of "each" or none (bar, community center, etc.) Important for companies to adopt policies before states do so. SMB outreach part of the initiative. Dealing with opposition part of training. American Community Survey from Census Bureau - 7481 same sex couples. Lots of elementary and middle school teachers. Managers, sales clerks, truckers, lawyers/judges round out top 10. No accurate gauge of sexual orientation/gender identity. Omnibus survey to pick up better data. 51% LGBTQ individuals considered moving; 85% of non-LGBTQ had not. Reasons not to move: family, ability to make change. Middle ground: live in big city, work in rural facility (chemicals, aerospace). Goal is to increase engagement with and understanding of southern companies and organizations. Companies can enact change where public policy has failed. See slides on what we can do. Engage non-LGBTQ people to make aware there is a problem.
At the brunch session I sat with Deneen, Martin, Chavonne, one of the ladies from the panel discussion, and two other ladies.
* Diversity is counting heads; inclusion is making heads count.
* End goal of D&I is belonging.
* Adam Rippon: I had to give myself permission to tell myself "Fuck yourself".
* John Quincy Adams' church today is led by an out gay man.
LGBTQ Senior Executives visibility influence company culture
If I don't see me among your leaders and employees, why would I buy what you're selling?
Roger - From South Africa, moved to Germany, then LA. Hates the term gay-friendly: move from tolerant to appreciative. Survivor of multiple mergers. Mgr at News Corp thrilled to have a gay direct report, first q: top or bottom? Trevor, #LOVELOUD, Broadway Cares. We've all had to fight for our survival, so we all can empathize. Use your experience to help others. You're the bottle opener. If we can convince younger folks to be their authentic selves, they'll be out already when they reach high places and we won't be having this conversation.
Jennifer - Came to N.Y. to be an opera singer, damaged her voice and became a consultant. Oriented business of change management around inclusion. It's not the pain Olympics. Use your privilege to help others. Losing your voice has a profound effect on you. Empathy + business case. Not a lot of women authors in business leadership lit, let alone LGBTQ. #metoo moments - whose stories aren't being told? Be proactive and ask for mentoring. Optics problem - Have to change the culture. Questioning inherent racism & toxic masculinity - companies are terrified to confront these. Might be a little better equipped to start those conversations. A lot of executives are still closeted - esp as they approach retirement. Tim Cook on coming out: it's not all about me. Not just LGBTQ either - other identity factors such as race and gender. Broaden our lens. Give HR audiences tools to engage upper management. D&I teams are tiny for the most part. F2M realizing male privilege after transitioning, which just proves how entrenched it is. Meet the client where they're at.
Michael - From small-town dairy farm in central CA. Mom: I named you after Mike Brady, and he's also gay. At Wells Fargo, the more he spoke, the more team members asked for help coming out. "You work for the gay bank". When his folks left Portugal, gayfolk disappeared, and that colored their reaction. Inappropriate remark from coworker recognized by superior: You need to be your best self @ work or you won't be successful. Helping others come out bc feels he did so too late. Don't ever tell me not to do something. When you create a supportive environment you make the company a better place to work.
Peter - From Bulgaria, came out at 21, Iraqi-Bulgarian, Communists anti-gay, came out bc friends dying of AIDS. WF expects leadership by example. When Ellen came out, so did he (at work). Survivalist living, searching for safe space. Must provide safe space for folks to come out. In HR, focus is to bring human back to resources. We're not here for metrics alone.
Day job vs. Gay job
Peter - Make D&I part of the day-to-day business
Michael - How are you leading? "I went to the event" is wrong answer.
Incentives to move to the next level
Roger - GEM score
Bring the CEO on board
Roger - Randall Stephenson does not need to be prodded. Tolerance is for cowards speech.
Jennifer - Silence speaks volumes. Corporate responsibility is big with millennials. Legal departments make them timid. If you're not uncomfortable you're probably not leading. Loves Randall's TIFC speech - isn't supposed to be revolutionary but it is.
Roger - Senior management has the opportunity and the duty to educate the workforce
Intersectional Allyship within the LGBTQ community
Allyn Shaw - Cybersecurity @ BoA
Kirsten McPherson - Boeing project manager. Has a service dog. Listening allows allyship to begin. Asking for help vs. being offered help. When you ask what you can do to help, be prepared for the answer; when you ask for help, be clear what you want. Senior managers have to mentor and be mentored.
Deneen - Las Vegas, started a scholarship for homeless LGBTQ youth, back in Detroit working with Trevor Project. Told this to Lyft driver and he came out as a once homeless gay man. Listen and pay attention. What can I do to help you? Be aware and assume positive intent.
Jennifer Henderson - Capital One - transwoman. It is extremely powerful to be out at work. Once people get to know you, it makes them see you as a person, not a stereotype. 3 roles: be a hero only as needed, be with the person, step back and let them know they have strength. We wrongly assume people come at us with evil intent. Bring down defenses and gently educate.
Allyn - Separate ERGs vs. one Inclusion Council?
Deneen - We need both. Inclusion Council ensures different orgs know what each other are doing.
Jennifer - When you melt us all together we turn into purple sludge. Pick a BRG whether or not you fit the demographic. BRGs are better together.
Kirsten - BRGs vs. affinity/social groups vs. diversity councils. The latter are to provide structured programming to folks not in a BRG.
Allyn - Self ID and how do we measure belonging?
Deneen - We have a Self ID program for disability, veteran status, and LGBTQ. Others include different categories like caregivers, military spouses. Degrees of coming out. When you see people doing the right thing without prodding, you know the culture has shifted.
Jennifer - Not a fan of Self ID. Until a company has the proper culture, doubts about anonymity will exist. Folks, especially youth, don't like to be put in buckets. Belonging looks at how you honor every person. "We're losing women in STEM bc they're going off to raise families" is bullshit.
Kirsten - do you want to know if there is a problem in this sue-happy environment? Lists are made with the best of intentions and get abused horribly (McCarthy, Nazis), hence the aversion to Self ID. How many labels do you want? Airplane building is very cyclical; this trashes loyalty. Define what the best is, and you can attract and retain them.
Jennifer - Attract straight allies by being a fun group to be with.
Kirsten - Why do you want allies? Nothing happens till you ask. What's in it for me?
From the room - Be an ally for someone else. Join a different ERG.
Kirsten - acting CEO response to hate mail: We don't behave like that in this company.
Jennifer - #tdor People who are being murdered bc transgender need to be acknowledged as human beings. Transgender people are the most likely to be unemployed.
Deneen - There are supposed to be protections on social media. Choice is to engage, ignore, or report.
Allyn - Intranet inappropriateness is often drowned out by supportive comments.
Religious freedom vs. diversity
Jennifer - There's still a D&I issue whether we talk about it or not. D&I is a differentiator and helps the company. Diverse companies do better. Never have a Bible fight with a preacher's daughter. 😊
Kirsten - Code of Conduct does not allow demeaning another employee. As a Federal contractor there is an obligation to ensure people are protected by EEO.
Jennifer - I would be all for a Christian affinity group if they actually acted like Christians. 😊
Deneen - National ERG Conference. 2 years ago, BLM was a really big thing, but that started other conversations. Not hogging the spotlight.
Starting an ERG
Deneen - Ask Mike and Chavonne. 😊
Jennifer - Have an event with PFLAG or GLSEN. People love kids.
Pushing D&I to remote sites
Deneen - Once you know better, you do better
Jennifer - All politics is local.
Caught up with Gary and came home to grab dinner locally at Buffalo Wild Wings in Everett Mall.