Stop me if you've heard this...

Joaquin Phoenix, flush from his role in Gladiator, goes into a swank shop in Beverly Hills and orders a pair of custom boots. The shop owner tells him they will take some time, but he doesn't mind, seeing as he will be away for months shooting a movie and will pick them up on his return.

So the boots come in, and they look just fabulous. The shop owner puts them in a locked display case, figuring his customers can ogle them while he waits for Phoenix to come and pick them up.

One day this guy walks into the shop and, brandishing a large sum of money, demands to purchase these particular boots. The owner refuses, and when asked why, he tells the disappointed customer,

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